🍷✨ Summon protection for your sacred beverages, and your hot takes. This laser engraved slate coaster isn’t just home decor, it’s a sass-charged sigil for the emotionally overcaffeinated and wine-aligned. Featuring the cheeky incantation “Spill the Tea, Not the Wine,” it guards your surfaces while you vent about your ex, your boss, or that one character who deserved better.
🖤 Product Details
Material: Genuine black slate, naturally textured and sealed for durability
Engraving: High-precision laser etched in-house (by a caffeinated raccoon with a sparkle problem)
Size: Approx. 4" x 4", rustic cut edges, padded back to protect your altar/furniture
Care: Wipe gently with a damp cloth. No soaking, no harsh chemicals—just vibes.
🎁 Perfect For
- Brunch witches with messy spellbooks and mimosa opinions
- Book club baddies who bring annotated trauma novels and snacks
- Queer kitchens, chaotic wine nights, and emotionally charged charcuterie boards
- Gifts for her, housewarming presents, or surprise mail for your coven bestie
✨ Why It Slays
This isn't just a coaster—it's a protective charm for your wine glass and your reputation. Made with intention, humor, and just a hint of petty magic, it transforms every table into a tea altar and every gathering into a spell.
📦 Shipping & Packaging
- Ships from the U.S. with protective padding and Scrap the Raccoon’s ghostly approval
- Wrapped in chaos and care, with a note that might roast you gently
- Processing time: 2–4 business days
Sold individually or as a set of 2 - Need more than 2? Send me a message!
⚠️ Notes
- Slight variations in slate texture and engraving depth = part of the charm
- Witchy side effects may include emotional outbursts and wine-fueled revelations
🫖 Add one to your altar, your coffee table, or your drama-filled brunch table.
✨ Click “Add to Cart” and sip safely.
